My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
For instant fun, just add water.
Poor white splash.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
The huddle is real
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Get in the swim this summer.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!