What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
By the seat of one’s punt
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
All punts are highly intended
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
I like your tight end
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!