Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.