How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
We’ll have a ball.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.