We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.