If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
This summer is going swimmingly.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.