Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
The calm before the score
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.