Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Summer is just floating by.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
Case in punt
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.