Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!