What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Poor white splash.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Having a ball
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!