Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
The calm before the score
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
Prepare to be bowled over.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.