I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
Summer is just floating by.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
What happens if you run in front of a car?
You get tired.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.