Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
The huddle is real
Summer is just floating by.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
Case in punt
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?