What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
I like your tight end
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
The goal nine yards
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?