The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Calm before the score
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.