What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Calm before the score
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
All punts are highly intended
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Football is one habit I will never kick.