Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
Give me some pigskin