Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Poor white splash.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
We’re calling your number.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.