Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Poor white splash.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.