If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
For instant fun, just add water.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.