What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
The goal nine yards
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
Get in the swim this summer.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.