I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Poor white splash.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
The goal nine yards
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
The huddle is real
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
We’ll have a ball.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?