A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
Case in punt
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
I like your tight end
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.