I feel tail great!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
All punts are highly intended
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Case in punt
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
The huddle is real
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.