Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
I feel tail great!
Football is one habit I will never kick
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Calm before the score
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Having a ball
We’ll have a ball.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
All punts are highly intended
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.