Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Calm before the score
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
The goal nine yards
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
We’re calling your number.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
By the seat of one’s punt
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I feel tail great!
Prepare to be bowled over.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.