The calm before the score
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I like your tight end
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
By the seat of one’s punt
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
All punts are highly intended
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Join us for plenty of play action.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
We’re calling your number.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Give me some pigskin
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Having a ball
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
The huddle is real
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
I feel tail great!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.