[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Give me some pigskin
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Calm before the score
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I feel tail great!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
The goal nine yards
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Having a ball
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!