I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
We’ll have a ball.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
The goal nine yards
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
The huddle is real
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Case in punt
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Prepare to be bowled over.