Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
The calm before the score
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Case in punt
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
The goal nine yards
Give me some pigskin
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I feel tail great!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends