Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
We’re calling your number.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Having a ball
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Calm before the score
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Join us for plenty of play action.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Case in punt
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
We’ll have a ball.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
The huddle is real
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble