Staying humble thanks to that fumble
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
By the seat of one’s punt
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Case in punt
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Having a ball
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
All punts are highly intended
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
We’ll have a ball.
Calm before the score
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I feel tail great!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.