Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
The calm before the score
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
I like your tight end
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Having a ball
Calm before the score
I feel tail great!
Give me some pigskin
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Football is one habit I will never kick
We’re calling your number.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
We’ll have a ball.
Prepare to be bowled over.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
All punts are highly intended
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.