We’ll have a ball.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Football is one habit I will never kick.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Give me some pigskin
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
The huddle is real
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
I feel tail great!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
The calm before the score
I like your tight end
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!