Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
The huddle is real
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
The goal nine yards
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
We’ll have a ball.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
We’re calling your number.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
I like your tight end
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
All punts are highly intended
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Having a ball
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Join us for plenty of play action.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Give me some pigskin
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
By the seat of one’s punt
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.