The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.