Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.