Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.