Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.