When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.