Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.