What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.