Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.