Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.