“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long