"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis