"Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one." — Benjamin Franklin
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.”
- Martin Mull.
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” —Johnny Carson
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
- Alan Dundes
“Good Morning! Open your mouth wide! I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!”
– Unknown
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawnmower is broken.”
– James Dent
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“A day without yoga is like a sundae without sprinkles” — Emma Mildon
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
I rang up a yoga instructor and asked which class I should take. She said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.” – Unknown
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” —Jon Stewart
“Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.”—Melanie White
“Sign for a beginner’s yoga class: Enquire Within.” – Unknown
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”—Rita Rudner
“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
Groucho Marx
"Stupidity has a knack of getting its way."
- Albert Camus
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."
From a runner's T-shirt
“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
Ellen DeGeneres
"What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them."
- Kim Roblin
“Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental facility.”
— Unknown
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
- Jerry Seinfeld.
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
— Punit Ghadge
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
William James
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” —Howie Mandel
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.”
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”
- Ugo Betti