“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle