“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin