"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle