Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
I really like you. So does my wife.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
We're donion rings.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
You look like my future ex wife.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.