“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday should be optional.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”