Funny Monday Quotes

Mondays are hard. Make them easier with these uplifting and humorous quotes!

Funny Monday Quotes

“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”