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Yet Jokes

Funny Aging Quotes
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
Funny Animal Quotes
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
Pea Puns
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Food Poems
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north

Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
As the words began to croon

Maybe that’s what’s most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
Doesn’t do things by the book

Once again, I’m gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
If you weren’t such a nut Meg

(Mike Gentile)
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference."
Funny Marriage Quotes
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass." — Rodney Dangerfield,
Orange Puns
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Thanksgiving Pick Up Lines
Got plans for leftovers, yet?
Funny Parenting Quotes
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner." – Ben Bergor
“12 weeks old: when your kid is young enough to fall asleep on your chest, yet long enough to kick you in the nuts at the same time.” – Lin-Manuel Miranda
“I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, ‘Not yet, but we placed an ad.’”

- Dana Snow.
Spotify Pick Up Lines
Has Spotify contacted you yet? Because you are the hottest single in this club.
Garden Puns
Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment. The plot thickens…
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
My coffee hasn't kicked in yet, so I can't think of a charming pickup line.
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