Top Jokes

Are you a Frappuccino? Because I want to be that whipped cream on the top.
“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.” - Jerry Seinfeld
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”

- Jerry Seinfeld.
Do you know how to hop? Because your body is in top form.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
Aren’t you supposed to be on top of that tree? Because you’re a star.
Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?
You might not be America’s Most Wanted, but you’re at the top of my Watch List.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Guess my spotify is broken. I saw you on the top 10 of this month, but you're clearly a solid 11.
Did you see the glitch earlier? You weren’t listed as the top hottest single.
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)
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