Top Jokes

Do you know how to hop? Because your body is in top form.
Are you looking for a tree topper? Because I've been told I'm a star on top.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Tonight you can be like America’s medal count… on the top!
“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.” - Jerry Seinfeld
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
You might not be America’s Most Wanted, but you’re at the top of my Watch List.
Aren’t you supposed to be on top of that tree? Because you’re a star.
Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?
Are you a Frappuccino? Because I want to be that whipped cream on the top.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Guess my spotify is broken. I saw you on the top 10 of this month, but you're clearly a solid 11.
Did you see the glitch earlier? You weren’t listed as the top hottest single.
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