As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.
After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves.
So Noah asked them, “Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
Yo Mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves.
What's the first question they ask people in hell who died by hanging themselves?
Business or pleasure?
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Abraham Lincoln
There was an old man in a tree,
Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
But the birds of the air,
Pluck'd them perfectly bare,
To make themselves nests on that tree.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.