Themselves Jokes

While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
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