Telling Jokes

Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
It’s your birthday, I know
But I couldn’t care less
Where is the cake, that’s the part I love best?
I understand it’s your birthday
But I am telling you now
If the cake doesn’t come soon
I’m throwing in the towel
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies"
I replied, "Tell him he's very good at it as well. I don't have any kids."
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
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