Telling Jokes

I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies"
I replied, "Tell him he's very good at it as well. I don't have any kids."
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
It’s your birthday, I know
But I couldn’t care less
Where is the cake, that’s the part I love best?
I understand it’s your birthday
But I am telling you now
If the cake doesn’t come soon
I’m throwing in the towel
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
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