Successful Jokes

"Behind every successful man is a woman; behind her is his wife."
“Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
— Unknown
There are 2 unwritten rules for a successful marriage.
1: . 2: .
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." – Russell Lynes
“To be a successful father there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.”

- Ernest Hemingway.
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” -​Kin Hubbard
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’”—Michelle Obama
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