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Successful Jokes

Friendship Quotes
โ€œBehind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.โ€
โ€” Unknown
Garden Puns
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
Funny Health Quotes
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Behind every successful man is a woman; behind her is his wife."
Funny Work Quotes
โ€œBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.โ€ โ€” Groucho Marx
โ€œThereโ€™s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didnโ€™t tell you about it?โ€‹โ€ -โ€‹Kin Hubbard
Funny Parenting Quotes
"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." โ€“ Russell Lynes
โ€œTo be a successful father thereโ€™s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, donโ€™t look at it for the first two years.โ€

- Ernest Hemingway.
Marriage Puns
There are 2 unwritten rules for a successful marriage.
1: . 2: .
Utensils Puns
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Cherry Puns
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
Funny Marriage Quotes
โ€œA good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! Iโ€™m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.โ€
โ€” LeAnn Rimes
โ€œRemember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.โ€ โ€”H. Jackson Brown, Jr
โ€œThe most important four words for a successful marriage: โ€˜Iโ€™ll do the dishes.โ€™โ€โ€”Anonymous
โ€œOne of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, Iโ€™m like, โ€˜Why are you in here?โ€™ And heโ€™s like, โ€˜I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?โ€™โ€โ€”Michelle Obama
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