Stopped Jokes

I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
Thanksgiving Dinner's sad and thankless
Christmas Dinner's dark and blue
When you stop and try to see it
From the turkey's point of view.

Sunday Dinner isn't sunny
Easter Feasts are just bad luck
When you see it from the viewpoint
Of a chicken or a duck.

Oh how I once loved tuna salad
Pork and Lobsters-- lamb chops too
Till I stopped and looked at dinner
From the dinner's point of view.

(Shel Silverstein)
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
"After about 15 years I finally figured out that she's always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that." —Barack Obama
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water.
Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says:
"Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
Are you the Count Dracula? When you stared at me, my heart stopped.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
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