Spot Jokes

“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!

Dad: This is just making me upsettings!

On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure
Eggs marks the spot.
What is the difference between a glass of wine and a man? A glass of wine hits the spot everytime.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
A dog and his bone was on the roam,
Where can I find this bone a home?
Will I bury it next to the tree?
No, too easy for others to see.

What about next to the garden shed?
Maybe in the middle of the garden bed,
Behind the sty where the pigs all are,
What about somewhere right away far.

I think I know what I will do,
I'll just sit down and have a chew,
Tomorrow will be another new day,
I'll find a spot then for the bone to stay.

(John Williams)
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?
It's not Hard.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
I'm Sneaky Bill, I'm terrible and mean and vicious,
I steal all the cashews
from the mixed-nut dishes.
I eat all the icing but I won't touch the cake,
And what you won't give me,
I'll go ahead and take.
I gobble up the cherries from everyone's drinks,
And whenever there are sausages
I grab a dozen links;
I take both drumsticks if
there's turkey or chicken,
And the biggest strawberries
are what I'm pickin';
I make sure I get the finest chop on the plate,
And I'll eat the portions of anyone's who's late.
I'm always on the spot before the dinner bell--
I guess I'm pretty awful

(William Cole)
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
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