Sounds Jokes

Giving me your number sounds like a fair trade.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the hell am I misspelling color"?
A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a u problem".
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Saxophone might be considered as the sexiest musical instrument
but there is nothing sounds more horny than brass.
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
My wife misplaced some of her makeup...
She said, "I can't find my concealer".
And I said, "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then!"
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
The Wasp Expert A biology student doing his thesis on wasps is walking down the street when he passes a record store. In the window he sees a record called "wasps of the world, and the sounds they make". Intrigued, he walks into the store. He says to the shopkeeper "I'll have that wasp record in the window please. I've been listening to so many wasps, I'll probably be able to know each and every one of them." He smiles smugly as the shopkeeper feigns interest. The student pays and leaves. When he gets home he puts the record on. "Bbzzzzzzzzz" it goes, but the man is stumped, he doesn't know what type of wasp this is! He waits for the next track. "Bbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz" and again, he can't identify which species of wasp this is! It gets to the fifth track and he breaks down. He can't identify a single wasp yet he thought he was already an expert on the subject! He calls his professor round to the house to help, when he arrives he explains to him: "I thought I was an expert by now, but I can't identify a single wasp on this whole record!" He says, almost in tears. The old professor ponders for a minute as he looks at the record. "Ah, I know what the problem is!" He says. "What? what is it?!" "You've got it on the B-side!"
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