Sounds

Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
Did you hear about the hitman who's also a janitor at the aquarium? He sweeps with the fishes. Me: I know a gay guy that sounds like an owl. Friend: Who?
The Wasp Expert
The Wasp Expert A biology student doing his thesis on wasps is walking down the street when he passes a record store. In the window he sees a record called "wasps of the world, and the sounds they make". Intrigued, he walks into the store. He says to the shopkeeper "I'll have that wasp record in the window please. I've been listening to so many wasps, I'll probably be able to know each and every one of them." He smiles smugly as the shopkeeper feigns interest. The student pays and leaves. When he gets home he puts the record on. "Bbzzzzzzzzz" it goes, but the man is stumped, he doesn't know what type of wasp this is! He waits for the next track. "Bbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz" and again, he can't identify which species of wasp this is! It gets to the fifth track and he breaks down. He can't identify a single wasp yet he thought he was already an expert on the subject! He calls his professor round to the house to help, when he arrives he explains to him: "I thought I was an expert by now, but I can't identify a single wasp on this whole record!" He says, almost in tears. The old professor ponders for a minute as he looks at the record. "Ah, I know what the problem is!" He says. "What? what is it?!" "You've got it on the B-side!"
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?
Nina.
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones.
“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.”
Betty White
Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.
Betty White
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.