An Irish priest is driving home from a night at his favorite bar.
A police officer notices a car swerving all over the road and proceeds to pursue. The Irishman pulls over and the cop makes his way to the driver.
Checking the vehicle and noticing bottles all over the floorboard, the policeman asks, "Have you been drinking?"
"I don't know what you're on about, officer. I had just only left church after giving praise to the lord for his many blessings and miracles," said the priest.
The policeman frowned, "Well then, what's in the bottles?" "Water", the priest replied. The policeman reached in and grabbing a bottle, opened the top and was quickly overcame with the smell. "This is wine!" The priest then promptly shouted,
"PRAISE THE LORD, HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!"
Mother doesn’t want a dog. Mother says they smell, And never sit when you say sit, Or even when you yell. When you come home late at night And there is ice and snow, You have to go back ou because The dumb dog has to go. Mother doesn’t wat a dog. Mother says they shed, And always let the strangers in And bark at friends instead They do disgraceful things on rugs, And track mud on the floor, And flop upon your bed at night And snore their doggy snore. Mother doesn’t want a dog. She’s making a mistake. Because, more than a dog, I think She will not want this snake.