Smell Jokes

“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
I’m like the smell of chlorine – I’ll never leave you.
The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.
The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Girl, your skin is so smooth, and you smell good just like some new shoes.
The Priest and the Police Officer An Irish priest is driving home from a night at his favorite bar. A police officer notices a car swerving all over the road and proceeds to pursue. The Irishman pulls over and the cop makes his way to the driver. Checking the vehicle and noticing bottles all over the floorboard, the policeman asks, "Have you been drinking?" "I don't know what you're on about, officer. I had just only left church after giving praise to the lord for his many blessings and miracles," said the priest. The policeman frowned, "Well then, what's in the bottles?" "Water", the priest replied. The policeman reached in and grabbing a bottle, opened the top and was quickly overcame with the smell. "This is wine!" The priest then promptly shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD, HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!"
Two snowmen were standing in a yard. One asked the other, "Do you smell carrot?" The other snowman replied, "No, but I can taste coal."
Mother doesn’t want a dog.
Mother says they smell,
And never sit when you say sit,
Or even when you yell.
When you come home late at night
And there is ice and snow,
You have to go back ou because
The dumb dog has to go.
Mother doesn’t wat a dog.
Mother says they shed,
And always let the strangers in
And bark at friends instead
They do disgraceful things on rugs,
And track mud on the floor,
And flop upon your bed at night
And snore their doggy snore.
Mother doesn’t want a dog.
She’s making a mistake.
Because, more than a dog, I think
She will not want this snake.

(Judith Viorst)
“It’s like kids can just smell when you start relaxing.” - Anonymous
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
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