Simply Jokes

What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Sorry I'm so quiet this evening. You simply took my breath away.
Sorry, I can't play hide and seek. Someone like you is simply impossible to find.
Why’d you dress up as a princess, when you could have simply come in plain clothes as the most beautiful girl at the Halloween party?
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Distance equals velocity times time, or we could just simply race to the finish line.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
My love for you simply radiates.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
The Rumor Spreader An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the KKK. This is a horrible lie. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God ." No one moved. The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.” Again, all were quiet. Then, slowly, a gorgeous blonde stood up with her head bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.”
Everyone is jealous of us
We make an awesome couple
Life with you seems perfect
Forever, I want to be in this bubble
Today I want to preach
Just one simply philosophy
That a handsome guy like you
Deserves a pretty girl like me
Happy birthday!
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