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How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys an extra case of beer. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.“
Bill Murray