Set Jokes

What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning.”
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." – Bill Vaughan
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”
—Michelle Pfeiffer
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
While fishing in the blue lagoon,
I caught a lovely silver fish,
And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me free and I'll grant your wish;
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the fancies your mind can hold?"
And I said, "O.K." and I set him free,
But he laughed at me as he swam away,
And left me whispering my wish
Into a silent sea.

Today I caught that fish again
(That lovely silver prince of fishes),
And once again he offered me,
If I would only set him free,
Any one of a number of wishes,
If I would throw him back to the fishes.

He was delicious!!

(Shel Silverstein)
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Do you believe in love at first set, or should we run it another time?
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