Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.

(Ray Gridley)

Literary Pick Up Lines

I love analyzing texts, but you haven't sent me any.

Peach Puns

What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”

Computer Puns

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes

"I sent the club a wire stating, 'Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.'"

Corona Virus Jokes

My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.

Spouse Puns

My wife sent me an article about "sandpaper spouses..."
I told her she must be 2000 grit, 'cause she's FINE!

Mummy Puns

Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.

France Puns

Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.

Mushroom Puns

What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!

Parrot Puns

My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.

Monster Puns

What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.

Troll Puns

You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.

Deodorant Puns

The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.

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