Sent Jokes

My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.

(Ray Gridley)
I love analyzing texts, but you haven't sent me any.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
"I sent the club a wire stating, 'Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.'"
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
My wife sent me an article about "sandpaper spouses..."
I told her she must be 2000 grit, 'cause she's FINE!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
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