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Run Jokes

Food Poems
If life is like a box of chocolates,
is it rude to ask for candy?
Can you really say with certainty
that you even understand me?

When life hands you lemons
I think you'd better run.
Cause life can throw a curve ball
and hit you just for fun.

I can do without the chocolates
You can keep your lemons too.
Life is what you make of it
not what it makes of you.

(Sarina McConnell)
Pot Puns
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it
Wouldn’t run.
Onion Puns
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Peach Puns
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
Funny Parenting Quotes
"I live in a mad house run by a tiny army that I made myself." — Anonymous
"Some children threaten to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going." – Phyllis Diller
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
All doggies go to heaven (or so I’ve been told).
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight?
Why, because there’s not a single cat in sight!

(Larry Huggins)
Funny Work Quotes
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
Funny Aging Quotes
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
Funny Animal Quotes
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
Food Quotes
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
Gnome Puns
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Cherry Puns
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
Music Pick Up Lines
Do you believe in love at first set, or should we run it another time?
Irish Puns
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
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