“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
Bill Watterson
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
Why do doctors slap babies' bums right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
Are you squiding me right now?
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.