Rest Jokes

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

- Phyllis Diller.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
That's a nice dress — where's the rest of it?
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