Realized Jokes

I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I don’t have yours.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
The guests were already at the door and we realized we forgot to make dessert. As a last-minute resort, my wife took the skillet, spread some frosting on it and said,
"Pancake".
“I never realized how annoying I could be until I created a miniature version of myself and started arguing with it daily.” — Anonymous
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.
Got home and realized that I can't use it...
My hands are solid, and opaque.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
I was going to call you beautiful, but then I realized I don’t have your number yet.
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