Ready Jokes

Woman turned down the marriage proposal of a gardener. She wasn't ready to shear her life with him.
Get that red light ready, because you and I are about to score.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
My space ship is ready. Wanna ride?
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
I hope you're ready to spend some koalaty time together.
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
— Unknown
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.

(Joanna Davis)
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
“There’s no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and you try not to die.”

- A Dad, ‘What To Expect When You Are Expecting.’
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
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