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Ready Jokes

Funny Parenting Quotes
“There’s no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and you try not to die.”

- A Dad, ‘What To Expect When You Are Expecting.’
Gorilla Puns
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Toilet Puns
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
Flight Puns
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
Marriage Puns
Woman turned down the marriage proposal of a gardener. She wasn't ready to shear her life with him.
Couch Puns
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
Food Poems
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.

(Joanna Davis)
Space Pick Up Lines
My space ship is ready. Wanna ride?
Friendship Quotes
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
— Unknown
Travel Pick Up Lines
I hope you're ready to spend some koalaty time together.
Irish Puns
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Canadian Pick Up Lines
Get that red light ready, because you and I are about to score.
Nuts Puns
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Flamingo Puns
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Pig Puns
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
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