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Queen Jokes

Mountain Puns
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Spain Puns
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
Medieval Puns
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Deer Puns
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
History Puns
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
Divorce Puns
The king and queen of the animal kingdom were having marriage trouble.
"You're a cheetah!" said one to the other. "Oh yeah?" she replied,
"You're a lion!"
Halloween Pick Up Lines
Wow, You must be the pretty princess the evil queen is trying to get rid of.
Poop Puns
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
France Puns
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
British Pick Up Lines
You can be the queen of my kingdom.
A Shocking Royal Visit
A Shocking Royal Visit The Queen of England was visiting one of London's top hospitals recently, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. "Oh my God!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?" The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your majesty, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly." "Oh, I am sorry." said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a BJ. "Oh my God!", cried out the Queen, "What's happening in THERE??" "Same issue, better health plan." Replied the doctor.
Bee Puns
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Mushroom Puns
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Ancient Egypt Puns
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Computer Puns
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
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